Super-Sexy Seinfeld Slash Fiction
This post is XXX Adults Only!
Our friend was writing an article about slash-fiction, so we wrote him this Seinfeld parody. Feel free to close the drapes and turn on some mood music.
Jerry: What’s the deal with female ejaculation?
Elaine: I don’t know. I’ve never “drained the lady vein,” if you know what I mean. Have you ever turned a woman into Ol’ Faithful?
Jerry: Unfortunately, no. I mean, there’s been splashing — maybe wading — but never enough to necessitate a clean-up sponge.
**Kramer bursts through the door**
Kramer: I am addicted to Oragel!
Jerry: What? That stuff you put in your mouth for a toothache?
Kramer: Not just the mouth, buddy. Anywhere you want to tingle. Anywhere… sensitive. **raises eyebrows**
Elaine: Have you ever put it on a woman’s… **gestures**
Kramer: Oh, yeah! She turned into a garden sprinkler! Peeled back my wallpaper!
Elaine: That’s what we were just…That’s it! K-Man, it’s your lucky day. Make me a Super-soaker!
Jerry: I’ve gotta see this.
Kramer: Giddy up!
**Elaine strips. Kramer drenches Elaine’s vulva-lips with Orajel; then, he pounds his rock hard pole into the secret cave**
Jerry: What’s the deal with double penetration?
**Kramer nods. Jerry and Kramer take turns with each of Elaine’s holes, rotating her at a steady rate. The two men fondle each other’s loins with their hands and teeth**
Newman: Can I join?
Elaine: No, but you may watch.
**Newman masturbates furiously as the gang ascends into a glorious mutual climax. George enters. At the exact moment, Elaine erupts her lady-cum**
George: Why is everyone naked? Why is Elaine’s beautiful chestnut hair drenched in lady-cum? Did you guys have a gangbang? And I missed it? Great! I missed the orgy! I stop for gum, and I miss my life’s only chance at group sex.
Elaine: **naked, sweaty and panting** Got any gum?